If you and your spouse are getting divorced, your children may have some questions about the process or what it means for their future. When having the divorce conversation, it’s important to give the children time to talk and to ask these questions.
Planning in advance can also help, so you can provide information and reassurance. So what questions are your children likely to ask?
Where am I going to live?
Children are often just concerned with the logistics of daily life, such as where they will live or who will take care of them. You don’t need to get into the details of the parenting arrangement, but giving them some idea of the upcoming schedule – and assuring them that you will both be involved – can be beneficial.
Did I cause the divorce?
Many children struggle with guilt about divorce, assuming that they caused it themselves. This may be due to a phenomenon known as magical thinking, where children often believe that their thoughts have more power than they truly do. But regardless of the reason, it’s important for parents to stress that the children did not cause the end of the marriage.
Is this just temporary?
Finally, children may wonder if you and your ex will get back together and if their parents will be together again. This is why it’s important to stress to the kids that this is a long-term change not just a temporary disagreement. Additionally, don’t tell the children that you’re thinking about divorce until you are 100% sure that you are going to get divorced.
Talking with your children is just one step you’ll need to take during the divorce process. Be sure you know exactly what legal options you have moving forward.
