You’ve probably heard couples say that they are not getting divorced because they’re “staying together for the kids.” They may not admit this at the time, but it sometimes comes up after the fact. The children grow up, graduate from high school, and then the couple gets divorced. They admit that they wanted to get divorced for the last 10 years, but they opted to stay together for the kids because they felt that was better.
While this couple may have good intentions, are they correct that it’s always better to stay together for the children? Some studies suggest exactly the opposite.
Conflict levels
The issue is the environment in which the child lives. If the parents can get along and are on good terms, even though they want to end their marriage, their relationship may not have a negative impact on the children.
But if the couple doesn’t get along and is in constant conflict, this can actually be damaging to a child’s growth and development. It creates a very stressful home life. This can have a negative impact on them, and it can also hinder their own conflict resolution skills because they are constantly observing and learning from their parents.
In some cases, parents struggle to connect with their children or give them the attention they need because of this conflict. If they got divorced, they may find that they’re actually better at being parents because they can put the conflict aside and focus on their child’s well-being. They may operate better as co-parents, so getting divorced isn’t guaranteed to have a negative impact.
Divorce cases can be very complex with children, of course, so it’s important for parents to understand all of their parental rights, their child custody options, potential child support obligations and all other factors that influence this process.
