If you’re getting a divorce, you and your spouse have likely had conversations about it prior to deciding that it’s definitely going to happen. But once you reach that point, then it’s time to involve the children.
Divorce can be difficult for children. Exactly how you have this conversation will impact how they take the news and how they react to it moving forward. Below are three tips to keep in mind.
1. Tell them together
To start with, if possible, you and your spouse should tell the children at the same time. This may not be possible if the two of you are estranged or if there’s an incredibly high level of conflict in the relationship. But if you can present a united front, it’s often helpful for the children to see that both of their parents still care for them and will be working together as co-parents after the divorce.
2. Tell them at the same time
Moreover, it can be problematic to tell some of the children about the divorce before others. You want them to find out directly from you. If you have multiple children, this is often best as a family conversation. You can always come back afterward and talk to the children individually.
3. Allow them to be part of the conversation
Finally, you will certainly start and direct this conversation as you introduce the topic. But children may have questions or concerns. Make sure that they feel like they are involved and that they have a chance to talk.
Having these conversations is just the very start of the divorce process. As you move forward, be sure you know exactly what legal steps to take.
